There's a lot in here

My head is filled with thoughts of Ottawa, my internship, concerts, relationships, family and occasionally food. As time flies by I am seriously beginning to realize what little time I have left in Ottawa before I leave. Right now I am at the end of a wicked festival which I will finish writing about tomorrow.
Today I have decided to isolate some of my feelings and write about them here. In going to all the concerts, movies, work, etc. I have met a tone of wonderful people and seen many wonderful things. I have come to love Ottawa and the people living in this city. I have lived here for just about a year now and I can honestly say that Ottawa has made a lasting impression on me.
Currently I am starting to face the inevitable goodbyes and heartache. I feel an emotional drain any time I leave someplace I have stayed for awhile. I think this is partly due to my innate drive to make profound connections with all those around me. And, while such connections do eventually cause temporary heart break, I welcome the risks. I want to emotionally extend myself so I can say I not only existed someplace, but I really lived someplace; I felt my surroundings and breathed its offerings.
I have learned that life is about the connections you make with those around you and what you do with those connections. In these last weeks in Ottawa I hope to solidify my connections and let so many of the beautiful people here know how important they are to me.

End of the Marathon

8 days. 30-odd bands. Uncountable memories. This sums up the end of the Capital Idea! Festival that I have been writing about so much. I have been left with sore ears, a sore head, a tired body, and a musically more enlightened soul. I think the best way for me to describe my memories is to go over each day one by one. Since my last post.

Sunday June 24, 2007

An exhilarating show to say the least as I witnessed three bands that really played their hearts out. Books on Books opened the show with extra-long songs that amazed with their diversity. Next came ???. Okay, I forget. Then was Frog Eyes. I can not believe how amazingly loud this band was even without a bass player. The drummer played with incredible speed. The guitarists loved every minute of playing. I completely zoned out in awe as I watched.

Frog Eyes

Monday June 25, 2007

Monday was one of the most anticipated shows for me. I has heard plenty of Ottawa locals
Fucked Corpse but had never seen them before. I partially regret this. Musically this band is exciting and slightly refreshing. Vocally I could only appreciate the singing of their plaid-shirted blonde-haired member. Then came Chris Garneau who I fell in love with. There is something that I can't help but adore with a piano, cello, percussion combo. With staccato notes like Owen Pallett and soft vocals I was taken to a beautiful place with this music. Finally Xiu Xiu played. This band was complex, energetic, and thrill to see, hear, and dance to. By the end of the show I was sweaty, exhausted, and extremely happy.

Chris Garneau

Xiu Xiu

Tuesday June 26, 2007

My favorite show of the festival. I am still in awe of the bands I saw that night. This was a highly anticipated show for me and each band exceeded all my expectations. First,Chinese Stars were supposed to play, but some other trio opened. (I am still trying to find out who they are). This band was new to me and I only caught the end of their set. They seemed energetic and complex. Next came Hot Springs. Right from the beginning when the lead singer changed her chants of "It's Tuesday, let's drink" to "or be sober" specifically for my "straight edge" self. This was a true rock band with panty flashes, crazing growling in the mike, and a tone of danceable, loud music. The banter between myself and the extremly sexy lead singer continued through the set and I think that just pushed my love of this band over the edge. If the lead singer reads this "I love you." Finally, The Fiery Furnaces came on stage. At the beginning of the sound check I had Matt improvise a song on the organs for me with the guitarist. At the end he said "There you go. That was made up." The lead singer smiled at me in the middle of the set because I was dancing so much to their music. They brought two drummers to add a Latin flare. The band played perfectly in-sync and the show blew my mind.

Hot Springs

Fiery Furnaces

Wednesday June 27, 2007

I knew this show would be good as two of my favorite bands were playing. Local group As the Poets Affirm opened with a slightly more mellow show but the most incredible drumming I have seen. Then Rock Plaza Central came on stage and nearly brought me to tears. The band played a crisper set than the last time I saw them and drew some of their songs out to incredible lengths of beauty. Finally Destroyer played his solo show. While he was tired from the plane ride he seemed to take complete control of the stage with an awe-inspiring performance and presence. I felt as though some of the crowd did not get the amazing music transpiring on stage as not everyone was silent. I however was breathless.

Thursday June 28, 2007

Thursday was a welcome change to the intense rock shows previous. Missing the first band my night began with Parts and Labor. This very interesting three-some played an extremely loud show that I oddly found relaxing. I later hung out with the band and spoke intimately with the bassist. He told me some amazing stories and made my night even more enjoyable. Then The Russian Futurists played a great pop show. With their first live drummer the beats and tones were flowing to create a fun, dance show.

It's a hard discovery

I am 4 days into a 10 day, cross-city/venue, music festival and I am worn out. I have realized that the process of discovering music is physically demanding, socially restrictive, and financially draining. It is also a passion of mine. Last night I was telling my tales to another concert patron at The Wrens show and was asked by a perplexed Glen Nuotio, "How many shows do you see a month?" As I coolly responded, "I average 3 shows a week," and his eyes expanded I realized that I had a serious hobby on my hands.
Concert going for me is exploring a new world. There are new people to meet, new conversations to be had, and new bands to experience. However, there are plenty of sacrifices to be made. Beyond the aforementioned demands of being a music hipster, there is the greatest and worst element to my journey of discovery - boredom. First, boredom at a concert can be great because while a band may be musically incredible, great performers, and even energetic entertainers, you still do not "get" what many of your present company do. This is great because you a) Have now learned more about what your musical preferences are, and b) Understand how someone can love this band, but not you. I am used to entertaining other people's comments of amazement and satisfaction after a band. While not whole-heartedly agreeing with them I must continue the conversation from their point-of-view or less be ousted from the discussion for lack of perception. However, this is still boredom we are talking about and therefore isn't my ideal mind-set at a concert.
I have also realized that while I may not love a band I can still be entertained by them. I may not want to buy their album, but at the moment I am more than happy to be listening and dancing to them. So far I have loved only a few of the bands I have seen, but definitely have enjoyed all of them. Here is a list of the concerts and my quick take on them.

Wednesday June 22, 2007

• The Besnard Lakes
• Jade McNelis
• Soviet States

this was one of the best concerts so far. Jade McNelis has a powerful yet soothing voice. Soviety States were extremely organized (especially for their first show ever). The Besnard lakes really blew the crowd away and played some complex and danceable music.

Thursday June 23, 2007

• Sunset Rubdown
• Montag

An incredibly dancy show. Each of these bands created amazing and unique sounds with their instruments that took the entire crowd to different places.

Friday June 24, 2007

• The Walkmen
• Relief Maps
• Acres

This was by far the most interesting show to watch, if not just for the music but the interplay within the bands and between the bands. Unfortunately the crowd was not as receptive to the Walkmen as they deserved. This band has incredible talent and take their music quite seriously. Yes, a band that is having lots of fun can be more enjoyable to watch, but the musical talent pouring off the stage should have been enough.

Saturday June 25, 2007

• The Wrens
• Poorfolk
• Darling Arms

This was a true rock concert complete with runny noses, hand clapping, and random people playing instruments on stage. Oh yeah, some killer music. Unfortunately I missed the subdued music of Darling Arms. The Wrens have melded great guitar, base, drum standard rock with quirky and compelling sounds that seem to manipulate their music into something much more unique. It was a real treat to see a band that loves playing as much as The Wrens do.

Tonight I am off to see Frog Eyes and I couldn't be happier. This is the most anticipated show of the festival so far for me.

Repitition

It has been 3 days since my last post. This is the longest time between posts for me. "Oh, don't worry about that," you say. I do though. I worry considerably. Late at night. With a night light on and a whimper in the background.
Okay, it's not that bad. However, as a man of organization, order, and schedules, this lapse in posting has me slightly concerned. The concern stems not only from that, but that neglecting this one thing in my life really is symbolic of what has been going on with the rest of my life.
The past week has been chaotic internally for me. Externally things seem relatively normal, however inside I am fuddled. It is as though I have a long list of to-dos that is continually changing order and moving in and out of focus, blurred by the fact that I have concerts to attend and am indecisive about how to tackle my monster of a list.
The concert thing is a welcome obstacle. I look at the Capital Idea! Festival as a marathon of daily concerts that will last for 10 days. I've conquered two of those days and already can tell that I will have to utilize this weekend for some much needed errand running if I am to survive. The next days of posting will also centre around this topic. So, hopefully I can bring some regimen back to my life, enjoy the concerts, and not let everything else fall apart. I will diligently keep you informed.

The Silent Letter release

Hello all. In my post "Film Preview" I posted a link to the preview for the film "The Silent Letter" directed by my friend Mark R. MacDonald. The film was released last Friday on You Tube. You can watch this excellent film here. Basically it is an homage to silent films of the past - with a little twist. Enjoy this film made for Phil Milner's 2006 film class by students of St. Francis Xavier University.

Father's Day

I just returned back to Ottawa from Whitby. I traveled home on the train yesterday evening to spend Sunday with my dad, my mom, and my older sister. I have a tradition where I will take my dad golfing for Father's day. This tradition is about 5 years old and really is only different from other experiences with dad because I pay for golf rather than him. Despite the fact that we usually golf together quite frequently (until the past two summers that I have spent in Ottawa) that little difference seems to make the whole experience quite special.
I really think that life's pleasures and happiness are found in details that we call "small". Really, however, these actions and thoughts aren't small at all. In the example of my father, something like me paying says: "I know we enjoy golfing together, and I want to show you that I enjoy it as well." Other small things may say: "I think about you even when you aren't around," or, "You're important to me."
"How might we say and do such things to make a moment more special?" you ask. Really, it is a positive and caring attitude that produces such actions. Smiling at people on the street. Noticing when someone is sad, but only catering to their feelings in an appropriate manner. In the end it comes down to empathy, understanding and love. In some situations thinking "what do they need right now?" is good. In others it is just about showing that you are there for the person.
So open your heart and don't be afraid to care. I had a great Father's Day because I made it about what my Dad wanted.

Poetry Finals

There is an organization called the Capital Poetry Collective. They are an organization that puts on a monthly slam poetry competition. Basically slam poetry is rhythmic poetry, composed solely by the author without any assistance, in a 3 minute time frame. The performances are judged and a tally is made. Last month this tally produced 12 semi-finalists who competed. Last night the 8 who made it to the finals competed once again and 4 winners were determined. These winners make up the Ottawa Slam Poetry team to compete in the 2007 Canadian Wordlympics to be held in Halifax, NS.

This all seems pretty confusing and really is just clouding the issue - Slam Poetry is truly amazing! There is an atmosphere of exhilarated passion from the audience that each poet uses to captivate and motivate with words of glory, beauty, and desire. It seems more like everyone is being taken on a journey by the poet rather than merely observing. Most poets talk about globalisation, poverty, peace, and the common person being corrupted or raped by greed and wealth. However, some seem to truly capture the beauty of something like training for a marathon in beautiful and articulate words. If you have the opportunity to witness poetry readings, especially slam sessions, I suggest you do. Many of the progressive thoughts and beautifully paraphrased prose will be found there.

Special guest John Akpata

Arguments are moot?

So I went for a late meal last night with my two friends Savanna and Katie. It was good to have a relaxed meal with these two amazing girls and share some laughs. The two of them had been working 'till 9 that night and I had been working all day and night and getting quite frustrated. A break was definitely in need.
Over the meal we got to talking about arguments and whether or not there actually was any benefit to them, or just sources of frustration and anger. Some popular topics of argumentation arose as examples - religion, language. I citied the specific meaning of words as both a common misconception that causes arguments and the question: "Do words have definitive or transient meanings?" one of my many frequented arguments.
One thing I made clear last night and I will make clear now is that I like to debate (I'm on my school's debate team) and question everything. I also know that this can annoy other people, so I try to limit these activities to the right audiences.

What I realized through our conversation is that when most people are arguing their point there are a few things that commonly occur:

1) People don't listen to the other point as way to say, "My point is right because I don't even have to listen to you"

2) People don't give up and will stubborly argue their point to the point of anger

3) Most people see arguments as a fight rather than an exploration of truth negative.

As you can tell, these three realizations would identify arguments to be commonly perceived as negative. I wish it wasn't this way. Maybe argumentation is a lost form of conversation, but I would rather not give up but rather try to curve the perception back to the essence of argumentation - an attempt to discover the truth of a two-sided issue. If people would practice more tolerance (at least conversational tolerance) then perhaps arguments wouldn't have such a negative aurora. I think the real problem is people's unwillingness to listen to someone telling them they are wrong.

I would ask these people, "What gives you the right above someone else to speak your version of the truth?" Because, really, what we say is "truth" is something quite personal to ourselves. We are all individuals with our own unique perceptions of the world. We discover through exploration and conversation. Rather than sacrificing such a great tool -argumentation - we should practice more tolerance. It is hard to say, "I may be wrong here," or at least, "Even though this point is completely the opposite of what I believe, it has just as much right to be heard as my point," but for the sake of truth, justice, and some really great arugments (and yes, even some poor ones) thinking like this is necessary.

The First Summer Festival

So this past weekend marks off the first real summer festival for the season. Yes, due to global warming summer festivals could have started awhile ago. People in the arts and crafts community here in Ottawa seem to be pretty versatile and planned two different big activities over the past month. I went to a craft and bake sale in a community centre about a month ago and then my very first "art-in-the-park" the past weekend. Both events were amazing.
This weekend was truly great though. In my last post I wrote about my Friday night. The festival I'm referring too is WestFest. On Saturday I began my experience by canvasing for . For two hours I walked around and spoke to people about Canada's lobbying group dedicated to reducing global poverty. This is an amazing and important organization and it was great to give some of my time and also speak to a bunch of people.
It also gave me the time to check out the surroundings so when I was done at 4pm I could head right to The Works for a veggie burger, Bridgehead for some frappuccino, and then go right to the main stage for the concerts. First up was Toronto group Golden Dogs. I missed the next group to get some fresh squeezed and over-priced lemonade. But then, 7pm rolled around and Jason Collett hit the stage. I was expecting him to come with his band Paso Mino, but unfortunately he did an acoustic set. I only say "unfortunately" because I think Paso Mino is the most fun and adorable band. Actually, Jason played a tone of songs and, while the mood was chill, the energy in the air was overpowering.

Golden Dogs

Golden Dogs just got more energetic as the set went on.

Jason Collett is amazing!

First x Two

Last night were two firsts for me. The first new experience was seeing a concert in a church! The second was having Montreal-style bagels from Kettleman's. I must argue that your try both.
Okay, so "Why was there a concert in a church?" and, "Is this some type of cult church you refer to?" you ask. To the later I respond, "No, it was a regular church from a regular religion, containing irregular activity on this particular evening." There I was to see 4 amazing bands. Nick Worby kicked things off with a new drummer but an enthusiastic and complex set for a three piece. Next came Eastborough who I have to admit I missed due to Kettleman's.
Yeah, so I went to Kettleman's to get some much needed food and coffee right after Nick finished his set. It as about 10pm at this point, and despite being a bagel place Kettleman's is open 24 hours!! Wood-fired bagels, a tone of variety, and continual availability make this place a real treat. Not to mention the fact that I picked up 15 day-old bagels for $3.50 (that's $0.23 a bagel)!!!
So when I returned there was a bit of a wait before the third, and incredibly amazing, country-style band Entire Cities hit the stage....well, there actually wasn't a stage. It was just the one side of the small hall without a fireplace but with windows.
This band is a site to see. They play banjo, xylophone, and even a saw along with the standard fare. Then finally Woodpigeon came on and blew me away with the sound that came out of this band.
Truly this was an amazing night and I only wish more friends could have shared it with me. Oh well, I can share these memories and photos with you.

Nick Worby. This guy has talent.

Eastborough. Sounded good from the one song I heard.

All of Entire Cities.

Entire Cities.

Film preview

This is an exciting time. Some of my good friends made a movie for their film class in the fall of 2006. Now, they have decided to release the film on the internet, but before they do they've released a trailer.

The Silent Letter Trailer

Enjoy!

Those special songs

Right now I am listening to "Off my Sleeve" by Royal Wood. This is one of those songs that makes me want to rent out some old ballroom with giant chandeliers, fill it with all my romantic memories, and dance long in to the night with all of them. Sometimes I feel so happy and hopeful about life that I can't breath. I want to frantically run in every direction to chase down each and every one of my dreams. How am I supposed to direct myself when there is so much I want to do? I couldn't even tell you where to start and what to shed off from your normal every-day shackle. I'll let you know how it goes.

Fireworks. It may be a metaphor.

Thursday or Friday?

Work was hectic today for a variety of reasons. I had a deadline for multiple product substitutions to the government. I slept in and arrived late. People were all over the place and there was a general sense of disarray. The work setting wasn't one filled with stress more than it felt unconducive to getting work done.
Yesterday seemed like a prelude to what would happen today. I met in the morning with my colleague Ted. We went over the products I would be substituting and set some goals. That afternoon I would meet with him again and on of our technical aids, Barry. The first deadline of getting these updates ready for the technical review was fast approaching and I fervently worked to get them done. Our meeting went much longer than planned but once again I left with some goals and a sense of accomplishment.
Today was the day I was supposed to get the substitutions sent in. I spent all day working on them. In the middle of the day I had lunch with a few co-workers, one of whom was leaving for Montreal this evening. As they drank beer and me soda the feeling that comes with Friday's began to sit in - the relaxation, the anticipation of no work, the questions of "What will you do this weekend". Once returning to the office the same sentiment grew inside and I began to confuse myself.
After work I ended up going to a local pub for diner with a few guys and we all agreed that it did feel like Friday. I actually had to ask someone if it wasn't Friday. He said it was and I cursed him inside. I guess I answered my own question and now will have to suffer working through a Saturday.

The Clientele

Last night I went to what seems like the first bar concert in Ottawa in awhile.

It wasn't.

I saw Mother Mother on May 31st along with Amos the Transparent at Zaphod Beeblebrox Nightclub. I actually really enjoyed that show and danced quite a bit to Mother Mother. MM is from BC and I find there is quite a distinct sound coming from that province. I also enjoy who is from Vancouver.

But last night's show was different. I saw three bands that played: My Dad vs. Yours, Beach House, and The Clientele. This concert was different for a few reasons:
a) It was in a different venue - Babylon
b) The bands were from all over - Ottawa, Baltimore, England (respectively)
c) I danced quite a bit.....oh no, that actually falls into the similarity category. I love dancing.

Anyways, the club really was amazing. I compare it to one of those places that you expect to discover the next great band. To give you a picture, you enter a small door that is inset into the outside wall off a busy street. Really, you could completely miss this place if your tried to find it. It is almost as if you need to stumble upon this worn-out wooden door by accident. Once through the door there is a narrow hall and another open entrance, upon which you discover yourself in a dimly lit dungeon. The walls are brick, the ceiling low, and the atmosphere intoxicating. There are large sunken couches that line the walls on raised floors. Small white Christmas lights and red-shaded lamps add color. The stage is is in the back corner of a "U" shaped layout and seems like another hole dug into a wall than a proper stage. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed my evening.

My Dad vs. Yours

Beach House

The Clientele

Children on the Bus

Sometimes children just want to be loved. It doesn't matter how, or why, but sometimes it will matter who does the loving. There are a few people in our lives that we will always want to love us no matter what. The best example I can think of is parents. They are the first people we look up to. They our are first guides, leaders, and, for awhile, the only people we have to depend on in the world.
Today on the bus I watched two sets of mothers with their young sons. The mothers both looked like they were single. The sons both looked to be 4 years old. One of the sons yelled swear words to his mother and the other bus patrons, fought, cried and whinnied continuously. The mother ignored the child for the most part while talking on her mobile, only paying enough attention to use her son's actions as a humorous anecdote with the caller.
The other child cooed and smiled pleasantly in his stroller as mom spoke calmly to him without ever using a condescending tone. Even when the son misbehaved the mother attentively said "no" with only a loving tone in her voice.
As I observed all these events transpire on my bus ride I could see that Son A was envious of the love received by Son B. It is a simple concept that is easy to understand: Love those around you and let that love control your actions. Yet, for a variety of reasons, we get lost in other elements of our life that make us forget to love. We forget love's power, but we never stop wanting to be loved.
I hope that you are receiving the love from whoever it is you want to be loving you. I love my parents, my sisters, my family, my friends. I try to tell them that I love them, but more importantly, I try to show them I love them in all my actions.

These are the Days

I've been in a chamber of a body for 22 years. This is my vehicle. I'm a man that is alive and my choices are all mine to make. Things haven't always been that way, and they still aren't always that way.
Yet here, in this haven of open thought I may be able to pass on what I would call things that are my own. I am free from the rest of the world's pressures now and can say all that it is I want to say. As the days go on I will continue to write about all that comes to me.
I will write my love and my dreams. I will write my life. You can read. You can comment. We can all connect and stay close. We can all grow. However it is is how it is.